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Maintaining your child's emotional wellbeing

a photo of two children's hands painted with smiley faces

Social and emotional skills are what shape who we are, how we manage our emotions and thoughts, how we communicate with and relate to others, and how we explore the world around us. They are fundamental to our future mental and physical well-being, shaping everything from our ability to form positive relationships, to our capacity for learning, working, and coping with adversity. 

With positive, nurturing relationships, these vital skills can begin to develop before a baby is even born and during those earliest weeks, months, and years of a child’s life. It is during this time that the brain develops faster than at any other time of our lives. These skills continue to be refined and enhanced throughout our lives.

The relationships and interactions between parents and carers and their babies and young children is the most crucial factor that can influence social and emotional development during early childhood. 

Five to Thrive is based on five key activities that are the building blocks of healthy communication and brain development:

  1. Respond: Thinking about what your child needs and responding to this.
  2. Cuddle/Engage: Connecting and engaging. This building block is “cuddle” for babies and children. This becomes “engage” for young people and adults.
  3. Relax: Learning to respond to stress and react in a suitable way.
  4. Play: Being playful and activating the right side of the brain.
  5. Talk: Speaking or signing and activating the left side of the brain.

Just like when playing with building blocks, if your tower falls, you need to rebuild. So if you’re trying to talk to your child and they get frustrated or upset, you need to respond to how they’re feeling and address this first.

When your child, (whether they’re an infant, child, or emerging adult), enjoys these five simple activities every day it helps them:

  • Grow
  • Be content in their own skin
  • Make and sustain friendships
  • Have positive connections with you and their family

The Five to Thrive activities are important at all ages and stages of your child’s life, so it’s never too late to start. They build baby and toddler brains and support healthy brains for:

  • Pre-school children
  • School-age children
  • Young people
  • Adults

It is amazing that by enjoying five key daily activities with your child, you’re helping your child’s brain grow. You will also be supporting their healthy development.

By being responsive and nurturing, you can reduce fear and anxiety in your child. This will supply the best conditions for their healthy brain growth.

Our brains change rapidly during the teenage years and continue to develop until our mid-twenties. Every teenager has different life experiences and lots of factors will affect how they feel and behave.

Adolescence, the period between childhood and adulthood, can bring:

  • Increased learning abilities
  • The importance of social groups and friends
  • The want and need for more independence
  • Strong feelings and emotions
  • A possible increase in risk-taking activities, or a tendency to act without thinking
  • Increased feelings of tiredness

There are many reasons why a teenager feels tired:

  • Lack of sleep
  • Too much screen time
  • Worrying about friends
  • Exams
  • Being bullied
  • Brain ‘pruning’, where the brain cuts back unused connections to reshape and allow more new growth. This mainly happens at night and is another reason teenagers need more sleep.

Brain pruning can also make it difficult for your teenager to make decisions. This is something they must do a lot of at this time in their life, thinking about school subjects and future careers. It’s also made harder by the fact that the decision-making part of the brain is not yet fully developed.  

The emotional support you give your teenager will help them make more strong connections in their brain and help them get better at:

  • Managing their emotions and behaviour (self-regulation)
  • Dealing with challenges (resilience)
  • Understanding the way others see things (empathy)

The brain continues changing and developing all your life. Even though your teenager may face some challenges, they’ll develop the resilience to cope when you help them.

Although it's important to prioritise our children's needs, it's equally important to remember that how we are feeling has a huge impact on how they feel. Children are naturally highly attuned to their parents' moods. Putting on a brave face or denying our frustrations will never fully mask what we are feeling, and these feelings are sure to impact on them.

Taking care of our own mental health is a key factor in helping our children feel happy - parents with good mental health will be better equipped to help their children.